Thursday, June 3, 2010

Day 60 - Rough Rapids

I'm going to take a break from the normal format, because I haven't been doing well on my diet. My life has been quite stressful lately, and I haven't even stepped on the scale for fear of the imminent disappointment.

First off, I wasn't getting the hours I needed at work, which I think I mentioned in my last post, so I started looking for a store to transfer to in the city I'm moving back to for school. Fortunately, I found a store that can give me the hours I'm looking for. Unfortunately, they need me right away, so my first day is June 13th. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'm going to love it. It's just that this has been my favorite job that I've ever had. I'm transferring to another store within the same company, so I'll at least get to stay in the wonderful company culture that I've become such a part of, but I am going to really miss my bosses. This is the first job I've had where I was only working with one person at a time pretty much every day, and I feel like I've gotten really close with them and really improved as a person as a result. When I got off the phone with my will-be-boss and realized how soon I'd be leaving my current job, I got a little teary-eyed. I will really miss working with the amazing ladies at my job.

This job relocation also means that I will be moving back to my hometown 2 months earlier than originally expected... two months that I will be apart from my boyfriend during. I know we will visit each other at least once a week, but that will be a drastic change from the past year and a half or so. I met my boyfriend at college, and we started dating only a few days after meeting at our dorm orientation. He lived on the same floor of my dorm as I did. The building was an "L" shape with boys in one wing and girls in the other, and he was in the last room to the left and I was in the last room to the right. We lived only yards away from each other for those 8 or so months, then I got my current job at the end of the school year, and I ended up moving in with his family because my apartment fell through. This past year, we ended up in apartments on the same city block, so I haven't been away from him much at all since we started dating. We've been kind of inseparable, especially since summer started, and we only spend our working, sleeping, and his coaching hours apart. The might sound weird, but we're definitely best friends, and I love hanging out with him. It doesn't get old. So, this will definitely be quite the adjustment.

On top of all the changes, my dad went into the emergency room yesterday with a severe infection and an unknown virus. I'm not going to go into detail for the sake of his privacy, but it's looking pretty serious. He was admitted to the hospital last night, and it looks like he might have to stay there for several days. I'm trying not to worry about him, but anything that keeps you hospitalized definitely deserves some concern. If you all could send up some prayers, I would really appreciate it.

So, needless to say, I'm going through a lot at the moment, and I'm letting it distract me a lot from my weight loss. I've got so much to do, so much to figure out, so much to plan out, and it all pushes my dieting and exercising out of the way. So I hope you guys will excuse me for my lack of dedication the past week. I really need to kick my butt again. I don't want my little bit of success to just be a flash in the pan and nothing more. I want to keep the fire lit so I can keep losing. Maybe being home and only working will help me. I'll be so bored that I'll want to exercise? But I'm not going to wait for that. I keep saying this or that will motivate me and waiting to see if it does. I'm done with that. I need to get motivated NOW. I hope you guys will be patient with me and help me through this stressful time.


  1. This is going to sound harsh, but no excuses! I've found that running or swimming or even walking are excellent times to get some good thinking in and to help mentally deal with things that are bothering me. Use exercise as a method for dealing this situation, and the weight loss will be an added bonus!

  2. I kind of agree with the person above, if you're waiting around at home to hear about your dad, go for a walk instead. It doesn't have to be a crazy power walk, though something intense might help you clear your head, but even a slower stroll might give you the time to bring things into focus. Going on a walk is also a good way to spend some time with your boyfriend before you two are seperated. I understand that working out is the last thing you want to do right now, and that you have a lot of stress on you, so it's likely you'll revert to your old habits, but life is never easy and straight forward. There will always be stress, there will always be moments when it feels like the entire world is against you, but if you throw off your diet and exercise every time things don't go as planned, you'll never lose the weight. I'm not saying that you should push everything in your life aside for your weight loss, but find a balance. Go for a bike ride with your boyfriend. Maybe pack a healthy picnic lunch for the two of you and hike to a pretty spot to eat it. Instead of praying for your dad's health inside, take a long walk through nature. I've found some of my best talks with God happen outside.

    Use this time as a learning experience. And sure, you won't get as much in as you would if nothing was going on, but at least do something, anything. Otherwise this is all for naught.

  3. Be gentle with yourself and compassionate with yourself. These are key to success. Mingle that with the discipline you know you have. If you can only do one thing... weigh. I know how much we dread it when we've slipped. Recently I wanted to skip because I had a "bad week," but when I stepped on the scale I saw I had only gained 4 ounces. I was lucky, but the thing it really helped me do was not throw away another week gaining weight.

    If you really can't do this, that's okay. Don't beat yourself up. Focus on something like exercise or water intake while you go through this very stressful transition and time. Just do 1 thing for yourself everyday that helps toward your goals. If 1 is easy, try 2 things a day. Hugs.